The REAL Steve Gray

stuff.co.nz

Why was he not asked if he was monogamous? That is always the most relevant question to ask homos, and no matter how ‘straight acting’ or ‘non gay acting’ they are, often when it comes to the bedroom they still like to get fucked anyway they can anytime they can. So that makes you gay.

BITS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT APPEAR TO SHOW MIKE HAS ISSUES WITH BEING AN OUT, HAPPY PROUD GAY MAN. SAD MAN.

Er, yes. Him for example! “Well, as Dom said the other day, maybe I’m a homophobic homo.” And is he? “I think it’s potentially true.” But what does that mean, exactly? He did answer, in a variety, of ways, but I’m still not sure. Basically it means he doesn’t enjoy the camp stereotype and he doesn’t want to be judged as gay, whatever that means. What it means in practice is that he won’t hold Regan’s hand or show him any affection in public.

He also refuses to walk their two dogs around their Remuera neighbourhood because he doesn’t want people to say: Look at those gay guys with those gay dogs. What sort of dogs are they? “One is a Sydney silky crossed with a Maltese terrier.” You couldn’t get a gayer dog!

“Regan insists on getting these gay dogs. At least it’s not a poodle!” This dog is called Rusty and “Rusty had sex with my gay friend’s Chihuahua and then they had a little puppy.” This dog is called Lily. He showed me a picture on his phone, so he loves them, really.

He said of Regan: “He’s completely straight. Well, he’s not completely straight! Ha, ha. But, you know, he can go to a bar and people wouldn’t think he was gay or anything.”

This is all rather complicated, if you ask me, and I did wonder whether he thought it was a bit sad that he couldn’t bring himself to hold hands with Regan, and whether Regan minded. (Nobody else does; not their friends, obviously, or their families.) “It is sad. And I sometimes think he does mind.” He says he came out on air for Regan, and also for the show because “the best broadcasters … are the ones that are themselves because people can relate to them”.

I still don’t quite understand why he put himself through what he calls “pretending” because – despite him telling people at gay bars who asked him if he was gay, that, no, no, he was just meeting a friend – everyone knew he was gay, surely? “You’d have to have been a blimming numbnuts not to have known, wouldn’t you! I mean, jeez! I don’t know. I don’t know why I was so scared.”

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